Emily Elizabeth

Aloha 'Oe

2006-04-23T17:17:00.000-10:00

Well, today is my last day in Hawaii. It seems so strange that I will be going home tomorrow. But, I had an awesome day today.

Apparently going away is a big deal in the Polynesian and Asian cultures. We don't know how to say goodbye in America, seriously. In church today they asked everyone who was going away this semester to come to the front of the chapel. They sang the song, "Aloha 'Oe." I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with it, but I'm going to post the words here. Keep in mind that the translation doesn't really do the song justice.

Ha`aheo ka ua i na pali,
Ke nihi a`e la i ka nahele,
E uhai ana paha i ka liko,
Pua ahihi lehua a o uka.

(Chorus)
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe,
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo,
One fond embrace a ho`i a`e au,
Until we meet again.

Proudly sweeps the rain clouded by the cliffs,
As onward it glides through the trees,
It seems to be following the liko,
The ahihi lehua of the vale.

(Chorus)
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee,
Thou charming one who dwells among the bowers.
One fond embrace before I now depart
Until we meet again.

While the entire congregation sang the song, those of us that were leaving were given leis. It was really sweet, and it really made a good impression on me. I'm going to miss a lot of the people here.

So, here is a funny story. I haven't told my mom that I have broken up with my boyfriend yet. I am trying to find the most opportune time to tell her. That probably should have been WHEN it happened. Anyway, I get a text from my cousin yesterday. She was at a family function. She said, "EMILY!! You didn't tell your mom that you and Danny broke up?!" I texted her back and said, "No! You didn't tell her did you?" And she said, "No, but you should know that she is telling the entire family about how you are dating a guy in Virginia." So, now instead of just having to tell my mom, I have to tell my entire extended family. Maybe she can just find out through osmosis.

Any ideas on how I can break the news to her?

Well, it's time to finish packing. I will write again when I get home. Aloha 'Oe!

The cheating nature of men

2006-04-08T11:48:00.000-10:00

I was talking to my friend David last night about the differences between men and women. We got on the subject because my roommate Jenne was stating that her last boyfriend cheated on her, and how it was really unfair. And David says, "So...it's supposed to happen to girls." And I said, "What's supposed to happen to girls?" David said, "You know, cheating."

Well, that spawned a whole conversation on the nature of men and why they cheat. This whole thing is obviously a generalization, and it is my interpretation of what he said.

David said that men cheat because they don't realize that that is what they are doing. That, somehow, they stop thinking and they don't realize that they are cheating until someone points it out to them. So, they have a girlfriend, go out with some other girl, and kiss her. While they are kissing this other girl, their girlfriend has completely left their thoughts. Then, once they realize what they have done they think, "Dang it. Now I have to go apologize to her and try to make it right so that I can make out with her again."

I was confused as to why a guy will cheat on a great girl in the first place. I mean, why would you even take the chance of losing something that was important to you? David said that it is also hard, because once a girl knows that a guy has a girlfriend, his hotness level increases and the pressure is a lot higher. I think that this would be cause for me to back off. If guys started wanting me more because I have a boyfriend, the red flag named "superficial" would be waving.

Well, needless to say, both Jenne and I were pretty mad at him. Then he couldn't figure out what was wrong. Well, I'll explain it.

Cheating hurts. I think that a part of the reason why men cheat more is because they don't know what it feels like. Because of the nature of women, if we get cheated on, we immediately see it as a reflection on ourselves.

Rationalizing cheating is wrong. I don't care if it is in the nature of men to cheat, that doesn't make it right and I don't have to like it. It may be in my nature to shoplift, but that doesn't make it okay for me to do it. Cheating is not "supposed to happen."

I've had a really hard time being able to trust men throughout my life. And it's experiences like this one that make me very uninclined to date or even like men. It's almost like, what's the point? If that's how they are, I don't want any part of it. It reminds me of a quote by Dr. Phil. "I'd rather be healthy and alone than sick with someone else."

The joke has become a reality

2006-04-07T07:48:00.000-10:00

So, as I stated in my list of things about me, I like to experiment with my hair. Well, I think that I just got what I deserved.

I was joking with Danny the other day that I had cut my hair as short as a boys. I thought that I was pretty funny and witty. And he actually believed me for a little bit.

Well, then I had a friend cut my hair. It just started out bad. One, I didn't have a comb, so we had to use a brush. Two, we didn't have sharp hair-cutting scissors, only plain old kitchen scissors. Three, the girl that cut my hair didn't have a lot of experience.

So, the first layer that she did looked really good. Then she cut the second layer and I almost died. It was about two inches away from the second layer, creating a definite line. Then she did two more layers. Well, my hair wasn't very long to begin with. The last layer was about 3 inches long. Well, it looks sort of 80's, except way worse. Well, she knew it looked bad and she felt bad. But, I was cool about it.

So, in a few minutes later my friend David came over with some clippers and real scissors and we finished the job. I'll cut off the bottom layer and made the rest short. I bought some wax and stuff to put in it to give it some texture. It's going to be a big shocker for everyone. I've never had my hair this short. And yes, Danny, it is about as short as yours.

I was really freaked out about it, and I still don't think that my brain knows quite what to think about it. It sort of goes into shock when it sees a reflection it doesn't recognize. But, oh well.

Here is some more surprising news. My other roommate's boyfriend made a surprise visit to our apartment last night and announced that he will be in Hawaii for a week. So, yay for her!

How Relationships Relate to Investment Decisions

2006-04-03T14:50:00.000-10:00

I never thought that my accounting class would have so many applications to my life. And, while I hate the class, it's really taught me a lot.

As I was trying to get to sleep last night I had a thought about how our relationships can relate to accounting principles. I suppose I have been studying a little too much for that class. Anyway, here is the theory.

You've been single for awhile, and during this time you have been saving up a sort of "emotional/relationship savings account." You're making some money off the deal, not a lot, but it is earning interest. After awhile you decide that you need to really make some money on all that stuff you've got saved up.

Well, no good investment decision is made without research. So, you start looking at what's out there. And, while the task is very daunting, you keep in mind the ultimate goal of hitting the jackpot. So, you start investing a little in good relationships that are very stable and low risk. Some of them fail, but you don't lose too much. Others give a return, but nothing very significant.

Then an investment opportunity comes along. This is one that you haven't ever really thought of before but you decide to give it a try. You don’t look at any financial statements or do any research into it. But you put in just a little, to see if it works. Well, at first it gives you huge returns! It's like you are getting way more out of it than you are giving. So, you give a little bit more, and a little bit more. Then before you know it, you’ve invested almost all of your savings into this relationship. But, it’s still giving you significant returns, so you don’t question it much.

Then things start going wrong. People tell you that you are investing in something that can never work. You get a lot of pressure to keep investing in other things. And, the company starts in a downward spiral. But, you figure that if you keep putting money in, eventually it will come out of the nosedive and you’ll start getting the profits that you were seeing before. Well, then all your money is gone, and the relationship goes bankrupt. And you wonder if you should have invested any money in it at all.

Well, now you come out with no money. But you are armed with the knowledge to make a better investment in the future. That is, if you can get up the guts to invest again.

So, now you decide that you need to save up some more before you go off investing. And you are going to be more careful and ask more questions in the beginning.

Then a company comes to you comes to you. You invested a little money in them in the beginning, but never really expected anything to happen with it. So, this company says, “Hey, you’ve invested in us for awhile, and we really appreciate it. But, we think that it’s time that you step up your contribution.” And you say, “Whoa, wait a second, I just lost everything I had in an investment venture. I am going to need to see some financial statements in order to make sure that this is what I really want.” They agree and bring over the statements.

Well, as a savvy investor, you start looking through the statements. You notice that the company doesn’t hasn’t grown a lot in the past few years, but it looks relatively stable. You’ve dealt with the company in the past, and they’ve been pretty honest. You notice though that there is a substantial debt to a previous investor, and that is cause to worry. But, you figure that since the company is so reliable, they will pay off the debt and move on. As you analyze some more you notice just a few small things that bother you. But, you figure that this is your only chance to invest big and it has the potential of making it big. So, you say yes. And you give the very little money that you have left and invest it all.

Well, this investment is a little different. Everyone tells you about what a great decision it is, and how smart you are. And then they emphasize that you better not screw this one up.

Well, as time goes on you begin to notice that the investment is paying off. At all. In fact, you are getting a worse return than what you had when you had very little invested. But, you just figure that it’s just a low time and it will pick up. So, you keep investing.

Then, it goes bankrupt. Or rather, the company comes to you and says, “We’re sorry, but it just isn’t going to happen.” And you say, “Shoot! I knew that this was going to happen and that I was going to lose it all!” And they say, “Well, actually, you aren’t going to lose everything, we just don’t want to have your complete investment.” So, you figure that something is better than nothing. So, you keep just a little in. Only, you don’t have anything left. All your money is spent. What can you do? Give it all up. Figure it’s not worth it anymore and leave. Work hard to get some more money. And then keep it in the savings account. Until someday…

Well, there you have it. I hope the analogy wasn’t too complicated. Later!

Changes, Volunteering and Noah's Ark

2006-04-02T22:34:00.000-10:00

In an effort to try to pick up the pieces of my life I am undergoing a few changes.

When I have something big happen in my life, I do a few things in a particular order. First, I doubt myself. This usually lasts a few days, not long. Just long enough for me to take a look at what I need to improve. Then I make goals and write them in my journal and on index cards that I keep around so I can read them. Then I start making changes. One of the things I often do is change my hair. This can be either cutting or dyeing or both.

So, this week I am chopping my hair off. I dyed my hair a few weeks ago when I started dating someone, so this time it has to be a little more drastic. So, I started thinking about how short I wanted it. I even considered the option of getting a boy haircut. I went to Clairol's website and used their try-it-on module. You can try on different haircuts and colors. However, I am still in my self-doubt stage so it didn't help my self esteem much. I was astonished to see how much I looked like a boy with short hair. Of course, it was quite a feminine boy, but nonetheless, a boy. I was going to post a picture, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I try not to talk down to myself often, but man, it was ugly. So, I think I am going to stay in the medium-short range. Maybe close to my chin, and keep some long bangs. We'll see. And when I get back to Utah I will probably dye it....dark.

Anyway, this summer I am going to do something that I am very excited about. Last summer I did some volunteer public relations work for a non-profit organization. I loved the experience and I am hoping to do it again. So, I got onto United Way's website and started looking for things that I could do. I have narrowed my search down to three opportunities.

Ø The Red Cross. This opportunity involves a lot of grant writing, press releases and general busy work. It’d be a good opportunity to flex my writing muscles, but honestly, sounds a little boring.

Ø Community Action Services. This organization works to build self-reliance among the poor. Sounds like a really great opportunity. This also involves some fundraising and some media pitching (my favorite).

Ø The Girl Scouts. Yeah, I know, this sounds really crazy. This one doesn’t have that much to do with public relations, but in a roundabout way it does. See, they want to have young adults (like me) be Girl Scout leaders. This would give me an opportunity to really get involved in something great, and be able to do things like plan activities and things that are related to public relations. This is the one that I am the most excited about.

So, the next thing that I do is email the different organizations and offer my services. The nice thing about volunteer work is that it is a lot easier than a job interview. You’re doing this for free, and so they are very happy to have you. I am so excited to get involved again.

As an ending note, I was reading some news online about the rain in Hawaii. Today marks the 45^th straight day of rain for Hawaii, a state record. In fact, this past March was the rainiest month in the state’s history with a grand total of 92 inches. I can safely say that if Utah got that much rain in a month, it would form a new lake Bonneville. But, the forecast shows that there is supposed to be some sun this week. All I can see is, there better be. I’ve got three weeks left and I still need to work on my tan.

Self Esteem and Self Worth

2006-04-01T15:31:00.000-10:00

I have heard self worth and self esteem defined many different ways. But, the one that has stuck with me the most is the definition I learned in high school.

Self worth is how we feel about ourselves. Self worth has a lot to do with how worthy we are. Self esteem is how we percieve others to see us. We are in charge and can change both.

As we go through life we all have our ups and downs. Some people have more ups than downs, and others seem to go through endless downs. However, it all ends up pointing back to attitude.

Sometimes we make big mistakes in our lives. We treat others with disrespect and end up hurting them. This can make us feel unworthy of their respect or love, and then make us feel unworthy of our own love and respect. Even though you apologize and try to undo the wrong that you caused the person, you kick yourself for making the mistake in the first place.

Other times people hurt us. Sometimes it's intentional, other times they are oblivious. Either way, it hurts. This could come from getting dumped, getting a low score on a paper, getting yelled at by your boss or being scolded by a parent.

And, in some circumstances, it's a combination of both of these causes. It's at this point in our lives when we feel at our absolute lowest. Those you trust or love the most are inaccessible because they are either angry at you or they have hurt you.

So, what do you do? You could walk down the street and pray that a truck hits you and ends it all. Or you can focus outside yourself. Realize that sometimes circumstances are out of your control, and that the best you can do is control what you are able. Hmm...the truck situation sounds easier to me.

Some photos

2006-03-29T10:21:00.000-10:00

I'm afraid because of the sleep that I have not been getting, my blog is going to be boring. I am just going to post the pictures that I took at Pearl Harbor. They are in my photo album as well, but I thought I would repost them here. I would like to know which one is your favorite. Later!

Sarcastic, negative, and ranting

2006-03-27T09:42:00.000-10:00

Reader Beware: This blog is more of a rant than anything else. I do not hold any ill feelings towards the parties involved. I just need to speak my peace.

So, I called to talk to my mom this morning. I try to call at least a couple times a week. She is paying for me to be here in Hawaii, and she always has good stories to tell me. Today I had a particularily interesting conversation with her.

As I mentioned previously, my cousin's boyfriend spent the week here in Hawaii. I don't need to go into detail about that. But, anyway, I kept to myself for most of his stay. I didn't go out of my way to be a jerk to him, and I didn't go out of my way to be particularily friendly.

So, my mom tells me that she was on the phone with my Aunt D the other day. She said that my cousin and her boyfriend weren't doing so well. I thought, uh okay. And then she said that my cousins boyfriend (we'll call him L to protect the innocent) had a beef with me. And I said, "Oh really?" My mom said, "Yeah, apparently L thought that you were sarcastic and negative." I just had to laugh out loud. For real?!! And then my mom said, "I told D that under the circumstances you had every right to be sarcastic and negative." Way to go Mom!

Oh, but it gets better. So, since I am sarcastic and negative I also have no social life. My mom tells me that L was disgusted with how much I was on my computer. He told D that I spent all my time on chat rooms. Again, I had to laugh. Actually, I get that a lot. I do spend a lot of time on the computer, but I suppose if you understood the nature of my schoolwork and my job, that would make more sense.

I am taking an Accounting class currently that is taught almost completely with CDs. Which means I have to sit on the computer and listen to someone lecture for at least 2 hours everyday. Not to mention working out the practice problems and such. Also, I write for a newspaper. Since the advent of the computer, typewriters haven't been in use much, and you can't run a story written on lined paper. Hence, I write on the computer. I research on the computer. So, yes, I spend a lot of time on the computer, and I will openly admit that I am attached to my computer.

However, the chat room thing? Give me a break. I haven't been in a chat room since I was about 10. My cousins and I thought it would be funny to pretend that we were an 18-year-old male from Wisconsin. Anyway, I don't think that I've even talked to someone I didn't know on the computer since I was about 11. Much less a chat room. Sheesh!

Well, my mom said this to D, and then D said, "Do you think maybe she talks to her boyfriend the whole day?" And my mom did something that she has never been known to do before, she defended my boyfriend. She said, "He's in graduate school and he works hard. I imagine that they talk online to save minutes on their phones. But, both of them have better things to do with their time than talk online for 6 hours a day." Well put! I would also like to add something here, my boyfriend and I have never had a hard time saying goodnight. Our conversations often end like this. "Well, I'm tired so I am going to go to bed." "Night" "Night". The end. None of this "You hang up the phone." "No, you hang up the phone," "Okay, let's hang up at the same time 1....2....3....." "You didn't hang up!" Blegh!

Well, that's all the ranting I will allow myself to do today. Maybe I'll get into a chat room and tell some stranger the rest of my life story.

Problem Solving Styles. Which one are you?

2006-03-23T08:45:00.000-10:00

I think that I would drop out of school if I didn’t learn something interesting every once in awhile. Luckily, those moments come often enough for me to stick around.

In my organizational behavior class we learned about problem solving. I knew that everyone had different styles of problem solving, but it was fascinating to learn about those different styles.

We all took a personality test that helped us determine which problem-solving style fits us best. I am going to reproduce the test to the best of my ability here.

WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM SOLVING STYLE?

An Informal Preference Survey

Instructions: Below are five sets of words or phrases. Trusting the first thing that comes to mind, rank the items in each set from 1 through 4 (1 = most preferred, 4 = least preferred). In each set be sure to write a different number next to each item. There are no right or wrong, or better and worse answers.

1. Things I consider in solving a problem:

a ___ Views of those involved

b ___ Views of experts

c ___ Relevant data

d ___ Personal experience

3. The way I like to interact with others:

a ___ Interview

b ___ Challenge

c ___ Convince

d ___ Inform

2. How I usually approach a problem:

a ___ Explore historical background

b ___ Collect evidence

c ___ Try a solution

d ___ Talk to people

4. I like problem solving best when I:

a ___ Take decisive action

b ___ Weigh alternatives

c ___ Gather complete data

d ___ Explore the causes

5. The statement that best expresses my view of problem solving:

a ___ “To be successful, a solution must be acceptable to everyone involved.”

b ___ “We have a lot to learn from our past experiences.”

c ___ “Solving most problems comes down to figuring out cause-and-effect relationships.”

d ___ “In the real world, you often have to solve a problem without a complete understanding of its cause.”

Scoring Instructions: Each item in each of the five sets corresponds to one or four problem solving styles. To score the survey, write your numerical rankings in the appropriate spaces below. Then total the numbers in each column.

1a ______

2d ______

3c ______

4b ______

5a ______

Total _____ (D)

1b _____

2a _____

3d _____

4c _____

5b _____

Total ______ (P_

1c _____

2b _____

3a _____

4d _____

5c _____

Total ______ (De)

1d _____

2c _____

3b _____

4a _____

5d _____

Total ______ (C)

Four Problem Solving Styles

Instructions: The labels Diplomat, Professor, Detective, and Champion describe four typical problem solving styles. Your lowest score on the survey indicates your preferred style. The second lowest score indicates your “back-up” style. Each of us has some of the traits of each style, although one style usually predominates.

So, here are the descriptions of each of the different problem solving styles. Does it fit you?

Diplomat (D)

· Interested in reaching consensus

· Learns best from talking to those involved

· Often values opinions more than facts

· Focuses on practical solutions

· Can be very persuasive

· Needs to guard against “groupthink” and short-sightedness

Professor (P)

· Interested in underlying concepts and theories

· Seeks lots of historical background information

· Learns from relationships to other situations

· Values detachment from the issues

· Relates to others by giving and getting information

· Needs to guard against indecision and impracticality

Detective (De)

· Interested in finding the cause of the problem

· Focuses on relevant facts

· Prefers to make direct observations of situations

· Tends to follow a consistent method or process

· Tries to establish clear cause-and-effect relationships

· Needs to guard against inflexibility and insensitivity to people

Champion (C)

· Interested in results

· Finds a solution by trying one out

· Wants to achieve success without help from others

· Trusts his or her instincts

· Good in crisis situations, when there is no time for analysis

· Needs to guard against impulsiveness and uncooperativeness

Well, my style came out very clear in this survey. I am a champion decision maker. I really am interested in the end product, rather than what it takes to get there. So, what style are you?

Ehow of the Day

2006-03-22T09:45:00.000-10:00

Every day I get an email from ehow.com with the "ehow of the day." I like knowing how to do things, so I really enjoy reading them. Today's ehow was especially helpful today and I thought that I would post it. Here is the link in case you want to read it in its entirety later. Enjoy!

It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

Steps

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line.

Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?

Communicate in some way every day - more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Sing songs together. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each completely if this relationship is going to work.

Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

All I can say is....well put! I want to know what you think. So, post your suggestions!

Are you afraid?

2006-03-21T09:53:00.000-10:00

I am sure that everyone fears something at any given point in their life. Some people fear public speaking, others fear heights. I have a fear of spiders. Some people fear commitment or fear their decision-making ability.

Fears themselves are not inherently bad. However, fear that is left unconquered leads to doubt, and that doubt leads us to do nothing. We just suffocate in our own fear. For instance, I am terrified of spiders. If I know that there is a spider in the house that hasn't been disposed of, I can't sleep. My fear of spiders leads to a doubt that I will live through the night without getting bitten and that doubt turns into me not being able to sleep.

So, what can we do to conquer fear? There are six principles that we will call anti-fear principles. They are faith, love, preparation, knowledge and experience. With these six principles you will have no fear.

Faith is so important. I am going to use some scriptural references here. Faith is the foundation on which you build. However, in order for faith to be of any use, it must be objectified. You need to decide what you have faith in. I have faith that next time I see a spider I will not be afraid. In Matthew 17:20 we read:
"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."
What a great promise. With just a particle of faith we can move mountains. Now this can be taken literally, but also figuratively. My mountain in my life is spiders. With a particle of faith I can learn to remove the fear of spiders.

In 1 John 4:18 we read: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." Love is the second anti-fear. Now, in my spider analogy, I am sure that if I grew to love spiders, I would no longer fear them. So, maybe I learn that spiders aren't nearly as harmless as I think that they are, and so I am going to love the good things about spiders. They eat flies.

The third anti-fear is preparation. Doctrine and Covenants 18:30 states: "I tell you these things because of your prayers; wherefore treasure up wisdom in your bosoms, lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness, in a manner which shall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shall shake the earth; but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." (italics added)
If we are prepared for what obstacles may lie ahead, we will not fear the future. That just makes sense. If I am prepared for a spider to come out, then it's not going to scare me. Or at least not scare me as bad as I would if it just showed up. So be prepared by studying out in your mind what you should do, have options for yourself. Someday I am going to write a blog all about decsion making, because that's a huge topic in itself.

The fourth anti-fear is knowledge. This goes hand in hand with preparation. Part of preparation is gaining knowledge. So, let's say that you are afraid of public speaking. Prepare yourself by being knowledgeable about the subject. Prepare by giving a speech in front of people you trust first. If you still are not sure where to gain knowledge from, ask the Lord. In Doctrine and Covenants 42:61 we learn what it takes to receive knowledge from God. "If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable thingsthat which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal."
And isn't that what we want in the first place? That which bringeth joy?

The fifth and final anti-fear is experience. You have to go out and do something about it. After you know you can do it once, you will be able to do it again.

Superficial Student Elections

2006-03-20T13:07:00.000-10:00

Election time is drawing near at BYU-Hawaii. This means that the Aloha Center, the main hub of campus, is buzzing with candidates. This also means that I am going to be late to class every day of this week.

Seriously, I am scared to enter that building, because I know that I won't be able to escape. Unfortunately, the news room is in the Aloha Center, as well as two of my classes.

There are posters up all over campus of people runnning for office. And it's like everyone wants to be my best friend. And it all seems a little superficial to me.

I remember back in elementary, jr. high and high school when we had these elections. It was all a big popularity contest. I remember a lot of my friends tried out for student body office, and most of them didn't make it. I remember one girl, Shayna, she cried so hard when the results were announced and she didn't make the cut. It was almost like a matter of life and death, and in a way it was I guess. Those who were fortunate enough to be elected student body officers were then put on a social pedestal. The rest just committed social hari kiri.

I even ran for student body office when I was a junior. I only ran because there was only one candidate for the Historian position. So, I figured I had a 50/50 shot at it. It was funny the change that occurred in the girl that I was running against. We weren't really good friends before, but we worked together at the local grocery store, and I thought that she was nice.

Well, everything changed when I started running for office. She wouldn't really talk to me at work anymore. And, her sister was one of the managers at the grocery store where we worked. She would have her sister come up to me and make me switch shifts with this girl so that she could have more time to devote to her campaign. Or, sometimes she wouldn't even switch shifts, she'd just make me take them.

Honestly, I didn't really care too much about the elections. I don't think that I even made posters. When I went in for my interview with the advisors of the student council they said, "Emily, you are by far the most qualified for the job. But, you don't open your mouth, and so people don't see that." Needless to say, I lost the election. At least as far as votes were concerned. But, at least the people had a choice, right?

Well, it's time for class. I have to get there in time to get past all the people wanting my votes. Later!

Acidic Green Coconuts, Loneliness and Rain

2006-03-19T20:55:00.000-10:00

Well, the rain continues here. I made it to church, but it certainly was a struggle. My cousin's boyfriend was kind enough to drive us to church, but my two roommates and I walked home after church. Some of the puddles, or rivers, in the road were up to my knees. Now, granted, I'm not very tall, 5'6", but I have pretty long legs. So, it was deep. I carried my shoes and scriptures above my head and basically waded to church. I chalk it up to cultural experience.

Well, when I got home my friend David came over and brought me a green coconut, and a whole bunch of tropical flowers for my roommate to arrange. For those of you who haven't ever had the privilege of eating a green coconut, you should try it sometime. The juice has a very interesting flavor. It's like carbonated coconut milk, if you can imagine that. It is definitely an acquired taste. I can't drink a whole coconut. After awhile, I just start gagging.

But, the real good stuff is inside. The meat in the coconut hasn't fully solidified yet, and so it has a jell-o or pudding-like texture. You can scoop it out with your fingers or a piece of the shell. And it's really sweet and good.

Loneliness is an interesting thing. I read a book this week titled, "No One Can Take Your Place," by Sheri Dew. One of the chapters is about leadership and its inherent lonely nature. She quoted a statement by Gordon B. Hinkley, President of the LDS church. It went like this, "The price of leadership is loneliness. The price of adherence to conscience is loneliness. The price of adherence to principle is loneliness. I think it is inescapable. . . .But a man. . . .has to live with his convictions. . . . Unless he does so, he is miserable--dreadfully miserable." Well put.

People probably think that I am crazy for not just loving Hawaii. I have heard it all... "But you are in Hawaii...it can't be that bad." "At least it isn't snowing." "Just eat some pineapple or coconuts." But, one thing that I have realized is that even paradise can be hell without the people that you love.

Someone asked me the other day if I liked Hawaii or Utah better. And I said, "They can't be compared. Hawaii is beautiful, and it has many good things about it. The people are kind, the food is good, and I love the ocean. But, my family is in Utah. So, that makes even a desert appealing." I have loved Hawaii, but I will be so glad to return back to Utah in 5 weeks.

The Volcano Cake

2006-03-18T22:37:00.000-10:00

I am a right-brained person. This means I have a nack for more creative things. I can be very logical and methodical, but I really prefer to do add a flair for things.

However, I am convinced that my creative ability ends when I actually try to do things. Let me explain.

I have been playing the piano for about 12 years now. I can read about any piece of music that is put in front of me, and at least give it a run through. But, I can't for the life of me compose a piece of music or memorize it. I have all these great ideas, but I can't put them into action.

The same goes for the culinary arts (cooking). I have these great ideas in my head for food that is as asthetically pleasing as it is tummy pleasing. But, for some reason, they never turn out quite as I had planned.

Yesterday our house had a St. Patrick's Day party. My roommate and I had planned all these great "green" dishes that we were going to make. We had green jell-o (yes I am from Utah), green kool-aid, and a green funfetti cake. I was in charge of the cake. I had some green frosting and I had planned on writing HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY on it.

So, the cake comes out of the oven and I put it in the fridge so it can cool. When it was cooled I began to frost it. The inital frosting went well, and I didn't make any holes in it. But, when it came to writing the sentence on it, that's another story. I got impatient and it just looked lumpy. And I wrote "HAPPY" too big. So big in fact, that there was no room for St. Patrick or even Day. So, in order to salvage it, I just drew a clover on it. So, the holiday had been transformed in an instant to Happy Clover.

This reminds me of a similar experience I had when I was younger. My little sister wanted a "Barbie Cake." My mom, knowing I liked to bake, put me in charge. So, I made a cone-shaped cake and had all these great plans to decorate it. I stuck the Barbie into the cake, and much to my dismay, it was not cooked in the middle. Well, the cake fell apart. I can still remember my mom coming down the stairs and gasping in horror at my attempt to salvage half a barbie out of a melting cake. She said, "Emily! For heaven's sake! I put you in charge of making a barbie cake and you turn it into a volcano cake."

So, I'll come up with the ideas, as long as someone else does them.

My facial hair aversion

2006-03-16T10:22:00.000-10:00

I really don't like facial hair. I can trace this dislike to a few things. One, I've never had a beard, nor have I ever had the desire to have one. Two, the men in my family don't have a lot of hair. They have plenty on their head, but their beards and stuff always came in spotty. In fact, I think my dad tried to have a beard when he got out of BYU and it just looked ridiculous. Three, because of BYU's honor code which states that men must be clean shaven, I don't see a lot of men that have beards, and thus, I just don't get a lot of exposure to it.

I will admit that there are a few men that actually look good with a little bit of scruff. I guess that where I have the problem with facial hair is when the guy I am dating has it. I had a really bad experience of kissing someone that had a really really scratchy goatee. It would seriously scratch my face up so bad sometimes I had to go ice it. I would beg him to just shave it, because it was like a wire brush, and he would always refuse.

I've heard probably all the excuses that men have for wanting a beard, or long sideburns, or a goatee, or whatever. "It hurts to shave," "It's inconvenient to shave," "A [insert some sort of facial hair 'formation'] looks more manly," "I do it because you hate it."

I have been accused of "making" my past boyfriends shave of whatever facial hair that they have. However, I didn't make them do anything. In order to save my face, I just said that I wouldn't kiss them until they did shave it. I mean, if I shave my legs for you, can't you shave your face for me?

PDA is not okay

2006-03-15T09:13:00.000-10:00

Most of my blogs this week are going to be about my cousin and her boyfriend, mainly because they are here, and the dynamics of their relationship is so strange.

So, last night I was doing some accounting homework in my room. In my house my room is adjacent to the living room, so I can hear what is going on in the living room from my bed in my room. My roommate and a guy from her class were at the table studying abstract algebra. Actually, my roommate was concentrating more on talking to her boyfriend online. He lives in Utah, so a lot of their correspondence is online. My cousin and her boyfriend were on the couch talking.

Pretty soon the talking escalated to flirting, and then there was silence. As soon as there was silence I knew that something was up. I could hear out the door and I knew that they were kissing. And my roommate and her classmate just kept doing algebra.

If it had stayed in there, I would have been fine. But, I guess they decided that the living room wasn't good enough, so they came into the room where I was and sat on her bed and started the whole thing over again. So, not wanting to deal with the situation, I shut my computer, walked out and shut the door behind me.

I do need to clarify that because we are all LDS, nothing beyond kissing occurred after I left. But, honestly, that's bad enough for me.

Who knows, maybe I am just jealous because my boyfriend is a half a world away. Not that I would do that anyway. In fact, I can almost guarantee that when I was dating my current ex-boyfriend we tried very hard to go out of sight to do that stuff.

Maybe you've heard the phrase, "PDA is only cool when I do it." I beg to differ. I don't think it's cool when anyone does it. When I say PDA, I mean "public display of affection." Holding hands doesn't qualify here. I am talking about kissing excessively, making out, or other stuff... It's basically just rude and inconsiderate. I mean, consider the case of my cousin and her boyfriend.

One, it was rude to my roommate and her study partner. They had to endure the noises and the sheer knowledge that five feet next to them, someone was kissing. My roommate was online with her boyfriend, who she was not able to kiss. Her study partner was probably thinking about his girlfriend and how he should stop studying and go see her. My other roommate was trapped in her room because NO ONE wanted to witness it. Luckily my other roommate was at the library. I had to listen to the noises and then I got kicked out of my room. I think the only people who were happy in this situation were the two "snoggers".

But, oh well. It's only a week, and then he will be gone. Then it will be back to the mushy online dating stuff. I think I'd rather have the virtual kissy lips.

Content to never be satisfied

2006-03-14T11:48:00.000-10:00

I am a pretty easy person to please. When I go on vacation, I like to see sites and things, but I am also content to stay in the hotel or lay out on the beach and read. I don't complain when I go to restaraunts about the service or the quality of food unless it really truly terrible.

However, I have noticed that not everyone is like that. Some people are never happy unless they are miserable. I know it sounds crazy, but it is true. And it drives me crazy.

For example. My cousin's boyfriend is in town for the week. Now he's been telling her for the past two weeks about how excited he is to come and how "miserable" he is without her. Well, now he is here and he is singing a bit of a different tune.

My cousin works full-time and has to work until Wednesday, and then she gets the rest of the week off. So, he sits in our apartment all day. And complains. First it was that he didn't have any food. I offered mine and Heidi's for him, but he refused. Then he complained that there were no grocery stores close. I told him there was one half a mile away, but then he complained that he didn't want to waste his gas getting into his car.

Then, I went to school, and when I came home he was still complaining. He had gone driving and hadn't seen anything cool, oh, and it was raining. Also, he didn't have anything to do until my cousin came home in an hour. So, my dear, sweet roommate starting trying to come up with things for him to do. And every idea brought the same response. "Ummm, I'm just not feeling it."

Now, it may seem that I am complaining about him. But, in all reality, I just feel sorry for him. I tune out his whining and just occupy myself with something else. But, this morning I decided to try something different.

I was cleaning our house, and trying to do the dishes. He was whining about how there wasn't anything to do and about how Laie sucked. I said, "Hey, the garbage needs to be taken out, you could do that." And he looked at me like I was crazy and said, "I'm not doing your chores, I am on vacation." I said, "Alright. Well, you have to earn your keep, so you can't use our shower anymore." It was sort of a half-joke. Well, he said, "I'll just use your roommates' shower anyway, it's not a big deal."

It was then I realized that it wasn't the fact that he didn't have anything to do. He just wanted to complain and be miserable. Who would have thought?

Junk Email and Forwards

2006-03-13T17:57:00.000-10:00

"Please Read! It can't hurt", "This is a true story", "This is so cool". Messages such as these flood my inbox on a daily basis. They are generally filled with useless stories, quizzes, surveys, and false information.

I am sure that we all know someone like this. Everytime they receive a forward, no matter how stupid, they feel obligated to pass it on to their fellow man. I actually have 4 friends like this that I can name off the top of my head. I am seriously afraid that they are going to cry if I tell them that I don't want their forwards anymore, but I would be happy to reply to a "real email". So, I just delete them.

Seriously, I mean, who really thinks that if they send an email to 20 people the love of you life is going to confess his/her undying love to you. I hate to break it to you, but email doesn't determine your fate. In fact, I doubt that it is even a factor. Bill Gates is not giving away his fortune, and email can't track how many people you send an email to. No pop-up is going to come up on your computer and tell you the punch line to a joke.

A case in point. I got an email this morning from a friend. The subject line was "scary". Now, scary is pretty generic. So, I thought, I guess we'll see what this is.

Well, it was a story about a woman that bought gas at a pay-at-the-pump gas station. When she was finished filling up, the attendant told her that she needed to come inside because her transaction didn't go through. Well, she thought it was weird but decided to go inside anyway. The attendant informed her that when he was watching the surveillance tape he saw a man get into the back seat of her car. He had already called the cops. And sure enough, as she was watching the tape, she saw him slip out of her car and run away.

Now my first thoughts when reading this was, "Oh my gosh! That is scary." I am absolutely petrified of getting attacked. I rarely ever walk outside in the dark, especially not alone. So, I thought, "Wow! I have to forward this to everyone to protect my fellow women!" But, I have a rule-of-thumb that I always follow. And that is: check the information. I have a website that I really like, it's called breakthechain.org. All I have to do is type in a keyword and it brings up the chain letter that I am looking at.

Apparently this one has been around for awhile. And, as I imagined, it was false. Here is the link if you want to look at it.

So, the moral of this story is to check your facts. Don't email something unless it is true. Don't sign petitions unless you know what they are about and you know the facts about what you are signing.

The real dangerous thing about forwards is that your email address is in the TO: line of the email. So, then people can just copy and paste your email and voila! you get more spam. So, it's better just to not send it.

Oh, and btw, I am no longer single. Yeah, I am now dating my best friend, Danny. Sorry, Danny, I had to include it!

A Case for Stay-at-Home Moms

2006-03-10T15:12:00.000-10:00

I feel kind of strange writing on this topic. I don't have kids, and I don't even have a boyfriend. However, I was looking at some of the featured spaces on MSN this week, and I came across a blog that was sort of funny. It was about the irony of coupon clipping. I will admit that I use coupons quite often, and I am always up for a bargain. I suppose I get that from my mom. But, anyway, the point is, I was leaving a comment and I saw a comment that read as follows:

I was saddened to see that women still put themselves into the powerless position of being a "housewife," perfectly content to spend days clipping coupons, washing dishes and folding laundry. I don't know how you do it. I wish so much more for my gender....
I see all of the bright, professional, self-dependent, self-reliant women around me who are changing not only the world - but the world's perception of "a woman's place," and I am electrified. I see women giggling about coupon clipping, dish cleaning and diaper changing....and I realize how very, very, far we have yet to go.
-Shelli

Well, I was a little upset by that comment, and responded to it.

If women aren't going to stay at home and do the dishes, laundry and take care of kids, who is? So, you may see it as a "powerless" position. But, I imagine that any stay-at-home mom knows that the job they do is irreplaceable. It's all about your perspective. I admire any woman who gives up a career to mold her childrens' lives and sacrifices her time to selflessly take care of her children. It's a shame that the world doesn't feel that way anymore.

But, I have a little bit more to say on this. Yes, it bugged me that bad.
My mom was/is a stay-at-home mom. I can only remember a handful of times when I came home and my mom wasn't there. There were times when money was tight. My dad was getting a doctorate and there wasn't a lot of money. So, my mom started a business from her home.
I never got into a lot of trouble. I would come home, and my mom would be there, so I didn't have friends over that I could get into trouble with. I didn't skip school because I knew that my mom was home.
But, more than that, I had a relationship with my mom. Because she wasn't stressed out with work and such she was able to devote her time to me and my brothers and sisters. In fact, a family was so important to my mom that she has made huge sacrifices in her life for us. There are five kids in my family, and my mom had a C-Section with every one of us.
My mom did all the "silly things" like wash dishes, do the laundry, and shop for our food. And since when did that become unglamorous? How better to change the world than to change what can be done in your own home. If this world didn't have mothers, I don't know where we would be today. Someone has got to take that responsibility, and I believe that it is the biggest responsibility in the world. Much more than being the CEO of some company.
Now, to clarify, there are times when it is necessary for women to work out of the home. With the state of the economy and such, it is very likely that women will not be able to stay at home as much. But, it's the same concept. These women WANT to be home with their kids. So, they do what they can. They work graveyard shifts, or during the day when their kids are home. They genuinely care about their children. They work because they have to.
Anyway, that's my soapbox. I might not be able to change the world, but at least I can influence my kids to make a difference.

Women and Competition in the Workplace

2006-03-09T14:54:00.000-10:00

As I have mentioned before, I love the show "The Apprentice." As I have watched it I have observed a lot on how women interact in the workplace. I also read an article today in this week's issue of Newsweek titled Can Women Play Nice at Work and Succeed? that got me really thinking about it.

I can think of a couple of examples off the top of my head where women have used seemingly dirty ways of undermining their female coworkers. It's like women almost hate to see other women succeed. But, you generally don't see men exhibit this behavior. They are more likely to confront the person head on and just the issue over.

I think that there are a couple of reasons for this. Women often do not see themselves as individuals. They compare themselves to every other women. So, while they may be successful, they are looking at the women who gets more and wonders, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I have what she has?" I read an article by imhservices.com that really summed it up well. "Women's identity is defined in relation to others."

Also, girls are taught from a very young age to play nice and to be kind to everyone. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to compete openly and that by competing they can become their own person. So, women will shy away from direct competition, because it goes against what they are taught. Instead of directly competing, women will be a lot more covert about it. Basically, be nice to other womens' faces and then go behind their back and try to sabotage them.

So, how do we combat this? Women can be great in the workplace, but for some reason they get this bad rap of being back stabbers. Imhservices.com gave some good tips that I'd like to share.

* Choose a new mindset.
o Think more in terms of "competition challenges me to do my best. Invite it."
* Try to manage your gut arousal.
o If you thought that competition was bad before, don't expect it to change overnight. It's going to take some time to get used to the idea. Just calm down.
* Don't take things so personally.
o This happens ALL the time. Just realize that sometimes business is business and it's not a personal attack on you.

I personally think that women could create a great synergy in business. Women by nature can relate very well to each other. By celebrating others' successes we may realize that we can get a lot farther. It's sort of this strength in numbers idea.

This is something that I definitely need to work on. I am extremely competitive. So, I am just going to learn to breathe.

Homeschool vs Public School

2006-03-08T14:57:00.000-10:00

I went to public school from kindergarten through high school. I was lucky to have some pretty decent teachers that did well with the small budget that they were given. In Utah I sincerely believe that most teachers are in it for the kids, not the money, because there isn't any.

However, in Utah, and all around the world, many kids are homeschooled. So, I was thinking about which I would choose for my kids, public or home. And I came to the conclusion that it totally depends. Here are some examples.

I have a cousin that is homeschooled. She hasn't ever set foot in a public school. And, while she is a great girl, she is very socially awkward. The only thing that she really cares about is the piano. She will practice and play for hours a day, and she is very good. She doesn't have very many friends, but she has a few very good friends. Now, many would say, "See! I don't want that to happen to my kids! I don't want them to not have friends and that is what happens when you homeschool them." I disagree. I think that because of her personality, that is why she acts that way. It's not where she went to school, because she still did youth activities and church and other things outside of school. She is happy being alone. She is happy playing the piano. And she is happy just learning on her own.

Another example is another cousin of mine that was homeschooled up until high school. She was popular when she was homeschooled, and she was just as popular when she got into high school. But, she was totally behind academically. She doesn't really care about learning. She'd rather fix her hair, listen to music, or watch a movie. Are these only characteristics of kids that are homeschooled, or do they apply to people who are taught in public schools as well? I would say that it's not the schooling that defines the person. It's their personality to begin with. If they are outgoing, then they will find friends outside of school. If they want to be a hermit, they will do that whether or not they are homeschooled or go to a public school.

So, will I homeschool my children? Maybe. If I have a child that absolutely hates school, but is a quick learner and motivated, I might take them out and teach them myself. If I live in a neighborhood that has a really bad school I might homeschool my kids. Education is important to me, and so I would be willing to do that. But, if I have a good school nearby and my kids do well in public school, then I see no reason to pull them out.

I have talked to a few people on this subject lately. Most everyone I have talked to say that they will almost for certain not homeschool their kids. Some of the reasons I have heard are, well, I don't want my kids at home all day, I couldn't handle it. Or, I don't want my kids to be socially awkward, because homeschooled kids are weird. I guess it is all a matter of opinion.

The Eternal Commitment of Marriage

2006-03-07T20:32:00.000-10:00

My parents have a good marriage. Of course, like all marriages, it isn't perfect. But, they love each other, and they have given me a pretty good idea of what I want in a marriage. However, I guess I didn't realize the magnitude of marriage until this weekend.

Now, I am certainly no expert on marriage. But, since my religion puts such an emphasis on marriage and family, I have had a lot of exposure to it.

The LDS Church believes that families are eternal, and have the potential of lasting forever. That means that the man I pick to marry is the one that I am going to be with for not only the rest of my life, but for the rest of eternity. I guess I never realized the full terms of the contract.

My cousin has a book titled, "300 Questions LDS Couple Should Ask Before Marriage." I have seen the book before and I thought, "That's stupid. Who cares about who is going to do the dishes or pay the bills. That's stuff you just figure out." Well, I actually started reading the book. And, even though I am not engaged and don't even have a boyfriend, it gave me some interesting insight. How do you save your money? What do you fear in your relationship? What is your definition of "flirting"? Do you believe in using birth control? What type of discipline would you implement, to correct your child or teenager's behavior? These are all questions that I never would have thought to ask a future spouse.

Last year I thought that I was going to get married within a year. In fact, I thought that in April I was going to get married and quit school and move somewhere far away. (Wherever my boyfriend got accepted to graduate school). However, after reading this book, and some experiences I had over the weekend, I realized that that I was not ready to get married, especially not to him.

So, is marriage in my near future? No idea. Am I ready for it? Sort of. I just want to make sure that before I make the commitment I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with my spouse. So, there isn't any rush...right?

Girl Next Door

2006-03-06T21:51:00.000-10:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted a song lyric. Well, I found the perfect one today. I suppose that many of us have fallen victim to jealousy at one time or another. I would even be so bold as to say that everyone has.

I certainly wasn't the most popular in high school, or even close. Actually, I didn't even really go to high school. (I started college early). But, I still felt like I was somehow inferior to a lot of girls in my high school. I have really terrible skin, skinny long legs and arms that I can't do much with, terrible eyesight and anyway, you know how it is.

This song is by "Saving Jane." And actually, the music video is really funny as well, you should check it out. So, here goes. "Girl Next Door." Oh, and hooray for band geeks!

Small town homecoming queen
Shes the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny shes lovley
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh an I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
I get A little bit she gets a little more
Shes Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

Playing musical chairs with Polynesians

2006-03-05T21:48:00.000-10:00

I know that I complain a lot about Hawaii. It rains too much, I miss my family, I want to go home. But, I really do love it.

One of the things that I love about here is the food. It's everywhere. And it's sooo good. Polynesians and I have at least one things in common. We both love meat.

I was in church today, and one of the members of the bishopric, Brother Fiu, who is from Samoa said something interesting. He said, "We love seeing you all come out to our ward activities. We love being able to feed you, because isn't that what it is all about?" I thought that was so interesting. I suppose that is what it is all about. Food unites people right, because it is a common trait that we all share, we all need and want food.

So, today we had a ward activity. I was asked earlier in the day to give a spiritual thought. So, after I gave the thought, Brother Fiu led us all in some games. The first couple were puzzles. And, Danny, you should be so proud of me. I knew the answer to one of the puzzles, and I didn't even google it. I was able to think of it all by myself. No cheating!

Then, after the puzzles we played musical chairs. But this wasn't any normal musical chairs. If you ever get a chance to play musical chairs with Polynesians, take it. They are so much fun to play with. My ward consists of men and women ages 18 to about 28 from all over the world. So, we get started playing musical chairs. We start going around the circle, staying close to the chairs. Then, when the music stopped, everyone scrambled to sit down. And it was a scramble. There were bodies and chairs flying everywhere, and everyone was laughing.

However, I have discovered the trick to beating a Polynesian in musical chairs. Unfortunately, this only works if you are a girl. Polynesians are generally quite large. At least they are larger than me, which isn't saying much. Anyway, the trick is to slip in underneath them when the music stops. They will sit on you, then jump up because they sat on you and feel sorry. Then they've lost their spot and you get the chair.

I think the funniest part of the game came at the end though. There were two guys left. One was from New Zealand and the other was from Tonga. And they both meant business. So, the music started and they went around the chairs. Then, in a split second, the Tongan got distracted, the music stopped....and the Kiwi grabbed the chair and put it underneath him. Some would call it cheating, but in reality, it's the New Zealand way.

I guess that is what I love about Hawaii and the people here. There is no pressure, and everyone can just chill out. Even my competitive self was not sad that I didn't win. Because they made it just as much fun to watch as it was to participate.

Commitment Issues

2006-02-27T14:04:00.000-10:00

One of my worst fears is commitment. Or rather, the lack thereof. I am a very loyal person, and I will stick to someone to the end or until someone beats me with a stick and tells me to make it end. So, not having something or someone to commit to is really hard for me.

I don't make good friends very easily. I like to stick to a few of the same ones for as long as I possibly can. Which is perhaps why the transient nature of college life is difficult for me.

One such example is when my really good friend left for grad school at the end of the summer. I knew the entire summer that he was going to leave, but for some reason I didn't really get it until he was halfway there. I remember he came and saw me at work right before he left. I put on a good face at work, and when I got home I cried until my roommates thought that I was crazy. Other people would have said, "So what? You knew him for what, four months? And you weren't even dating!"

I am also very good at keeping in touch with people. Thanks to the wonders of technology I can text, IM, email and call people, and I generally do pretty well.

Just to clarify, I am not a clingy person. I can go a day without talking to someone, and I am quite happy being alone. So, when I say that I get attached to someone, it's usually a mutual thing. Or at least I like to think so.

However, there is the opposite of me as well. It seems like they have commitment-phobia. Actually, I can understand commitment phobia. What I don't understand is psuedo-commitment phobia. Let me explain.

These are the people that are never date-less. They always have a boyfriend, as well as 2-3 other love interests that they are "trying to battle off." Their boyfriend changes about monthly, and it seems that they are always "the one."

Now, I'm not sure why some people have the gift of attraction and others don't. And, I am definitely not qualified to make a moral judgement. But, from what I have observed, it goes something like this.

Some people are just afraid of being alone. So, in order to make sure that they are not without a boyfriend, they have two or three in addition to the one that they already have. They just want to make sure that they have all their bases covered. Just in case that one falls through.

I guess I can't ever really know. But, I imagine that some people don't understand how I work either. It's all about perspective.

Lessons I've Learned in Hawaii

2006-02-25T16:22:00.000-10:00

Well, I have decided when I get back from Hawaii I am going to write a book. It'll be called, "Failing Quick and Failing Small: Lessons I've Learned in Hawaii." It's funny that a place that is supposed to be paradise can be so miserable sometimes. So, here is the first of a few installments of lessons I've learned in Hawaii. I can't put them all in now, because I haven't learned them all yet.

* People are dynamic and are always changing.
* Just when you think you have someone figured out, they throw you for a loop.
* The days that I am most miserable are the days when I am only thinking about myself.
* The only way to become a better writer is to write.
* Fail quick and fail small. It's better to lose a small investment quickly than to lose it all on a big investment later.
* We are attracted to those we learn the most from.
* Sometimes the lesson we learn is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us.
* If you pretend to be positive you may surprise yourself and actually feel positive.
* Relationships are the playground of life. And you can't ever know what it is like until you take a chance.
* You can either choose to be "right" or to have a relationship, you can't have both.
* Sometimes it takes the distance of an ocean to realize how close you are to someone.

So, there you have it. Just a few of the lessons I have learned. I am still learning, so there is still more to come. Thanks everyone for all your comments! I love hearing from you.

Am I Too Competitive?

2006-02-24T12:29:00.000-10:00

I love to play games. I guess this comes from my dad. We played a lot of games as a family, and our game closet is still full to almost overflowing. You know, where the games fall on top of you everytime you open it?

I also inherited something from my dad in relation to games. Competition. I hope he doesn't read this, because he will probably call me and argue with me. In fact, I have a couple cousins that to this day won't play games with him because of bad memories. He once offered my brother and me 10 dollars if we could beat him in a game of chess. I never did win, even though I got close. Now, my dad, to his credit, has gotten much better at losing, and winning.

However, I see myself as having some of these same tendencies. I am terrible at sports. For some reason I can't get my long legs and skinny arms to be coordinated enough to do anything with a ball. I can't hit it with a stick, shoot it into a hoop, catch it, kick it, throw it, or even run with it properly. And yet, I still play sports. But, I get mad everytime I lose. I remember in elementary school, the "popular girls" had their own team for the track meet. And this new girl moved in. So, our track meet team "The Rejects" recruited her, because she was new and had no friends. Well, it turns out that she was an amazing runner. So the popular girls snatched her. I am still mad for losing the relay. Oh well.

The other thing that I am really nasty about is board games. It has gotten so bad that I won't even play a game unless there is a good chance that I will win. My cousin loves this game "Road to Zarahemla," and one time she made me play with her. Well, I got smoked. So, now I won't play the game ever again. Over the summer my boyfriend and his roommates played this sci-fi game that I can't remember the name of at this moment. But, anyway, I would sit there and watch them play it, hoping that maybe I could absorb some of the knowledge of how to play the game. And, while they asked me many times to play with them; I never could bring myself to do it. I really did want to play, but I couldn't stand the thought of losing. It's almost like a personal reflection on me.

So, I guess that there are two options for me. I can either play games all the time and be a poor sport when I lose. Or, people can just let me win.

Taking the Plunge?

2006-02-23T11:00:00.000-10:00

This blog is in response to a lengthy conversation that I had last night with an old friend from high school. We were discussing the complexity of women and how he can never figure out that a girl likes him until it is too late.

I am one of those girls that always ends up being "a good friend." Which, by no means, is a bad thing. I like being able to help my male friends out with their dating dillemmas. I can generally give some pretty sound advice, and usually I am good at guessing what is going on in girls' heads. But, sometimes I get a problem that all I can say is, "Sheesh, I guess she is just being a girl."

Well, I read an article this morning that may answer a lot of your questions, Seth. For being written by a man, the article was extremely close to the truth. The article outlined 4 almost completely fool-proof signs that a woman is interested in you. I am going to outline the basic idea of the article here.

The first sign is "The 'Let's Laugh' Signal." If the girl makes you feel like a stand-up comedian even though you aren't that funny, that is a really good sign that she digs you. Or, even though she may not be in love, she is at least a little attracted to you. But, make sure that she is being playful about it, and not just giving you sympathy laughs.

The second sign is "The tell-tale time sign." This one depends all on the time of day when she wants to hang out with you. If she wants to hang out in the mid-day, or is always hitting you up for lunch dates, chances are she just wants to be friends. But, if she is always telling you about movies she wants to see, or her favorite hang out spots in the evening, then chances are, she's interested. And, she probably wants you to go with her.

The third sign is "the body language clues." I know that this one is true for a fact. If you look closely at how she responds to you with her body, that is almost a for-sure sign. If she is facing towards you, mimicking your body language, or gives a subtle touch every once in a while, then that's a total green light. But, if she has her arms crossed, is facing forward instead of at you, or keeps looking around the room, then that's your sign to exit gracefully.

The last one is the "look of I like you." If there is direct eye contact that lasts for more than a few seconds, that is the first sign. The other, and a little more hard to pick up on, is that if she is looking from your eyes to your mouth she probably is imagining what it would be like to kiss you. But, beware on this one, you might just have something caught in your teeth.

Okay, so now a girl gives you all the signals that she likes you, then what? Well, the first step is, if you don't know the girl that well, get her number. Then call her soon. Call and say something like, "Hey, so I'd like to take you out to dinner, just the two of us."

Now, in the case of Seth, what if you have been friends with this girl for awhile. Well, if you are getting all the above signals then it's time to have the talk. Say something like, "I'd really like to become more than just friends and start dating you. How do you feel about that?" Chances are, if you were reading the signs right, this is the conversation that she has been dreaming of, and she will say yes.

So, the breakdown? Pay attention and take a chance. You will never know what could happen if you don't try. If you concentrate on yourself or your surroundings, instead of the woman like you should be, you will start to pick up on things that you didn't notice before.

Trump Gets Fired?

2006-02-22T10:43:00.000-10:00

I don't watch insane amounts of TV, and I generally don't like reality shows. However, I am an admitted addict of "The Apprentice." Season 5 begins on Monday, February 27th, and I am counting down the days.

Just to clarify, I don't watch the show because of the drama. Honestly, the drama is what bugs me. I love the tasks. That is admittedly because of my major and my love for campaigns of any sort. I am one of those weird people that picks up a brochure and says, "Wow! Check out this layout. I love the font that they used." Or, while watching TV I tune in very carefully to the commercials to analyze the marketing strategies. I call it enjoying the small things in life.

Anyway, I read an interesting article this morning about the Apprentice that was featured in "Newsweek" this week. It was about Martha Stewart's spin-off of the show. Which, I will say flat out, sucked. I am not sure if Martha started a show just to jump-start her career or what, but it really flopped. In fact, according to NBC, they will not be running Martha's show after the first season flopped so badly.

So, the article said that Martha has been blaming Donald Trump for the failure of the show.

According to Trump, "I'm tired of Martha blaming me for her failure." Way to go. But, that's not where it stops.

"Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it—and your low ratings bore me out." Man, it's like Martha has become the apprentice, and she just got fired!

According to producers, at the end of the season, Trump was supposed to get fired, leaving Martha with the only "Apprentice" show. What were they thinking? Why would anyone want to watch a show to see who can make the best salad dressing or who can make the most money tying quilts? Let's get some real action going on here.

Thankfully, it didn't happen, and according to "Apprentice" producer Mark Burnet firing Trump was suggested. But Burnett, who co-owns "The Apprentice" with Trump, quickly added: "Thank God that didn't happen."

Amen brother.

I'm Not That Girl

2006-02-22T01:08:00.000-10:00

So, I chose "I'm Not That Girl" from the Original Broadway Cast of "Wicked" to post today. I stumbled across this album on the Yahoo! Music Engine, but it wasn't the first time that I had heard the soundtrack.

I was introduced to "Wicked" this summer. I had a roommate that was obsessed with the soundtrack, and listened to it all the time. And there was also my neighbor. Between the two of them, I heard "Wicked" almost nonstop.

Last summer was a really good memory. And, as I have been thinking a lot about it lately, it's only appropriate that I add a lyric from that era in my life. It's probably the only song on this soundtrack that I can stand.

But, anyway, here is the lyric. I need to go to bed. I will post some more 'insightful' stuff tomorrow. Cheers.

Hands touch
Eyes meet
Sudden silence
Sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy world
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl

Don't dream
Too far
Don't lose sight of
Who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl

Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what might have been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile
Lithe limb
She is winsome
She wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl

Don't wish
Don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

Fear of Taking Risks

2006-02-21T13:06:00.000-10:00

So, this blog is based on an interesting experience I had today. I am currently attending BYU-Hawaii, and working for the school newspaper, the Ke Alaka'i.

For those of you who may not know, BYU-Hawaii is a private university owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And, the university is mostly funded by Church members through tithing funds. So, whatever the school does is basically a reflection on the church itself.

So, this past week I was writing an editorial. It is the same one that I published on here a few days ago. So, after a lot of research and a few edits, I presented it to my editor. Of course, there was a little hesitation about it and I was told that the editors would be in touch with me to go over it a few times.

This morning I went to the staff meeting and looked at the proof for the paper and my article was not in it. It wasn't that big of a surprise to me, and I figured that it would happen. But, I did wonder what the reason was for it.

So, my editor took me aside and said, "Well, I really liked your editorial, but we can't publish it because the Church hasn't taken a stance on this issue."

Well, it makes sense. I mean, if on the off-chance someone picked up the story, the headline would be, "Mormon Newspaper Discounts King." Instead of "Emily Coleman is a Racist." So, I wouldn't want to give the Church a bad name, because obviously it isn't the church who has the position.

However, I think that everyone is just afraid to take some risks. You know, get some healthy discussion on an issue. The Ke Alaka'i is a great example of this. Some of the past editorials have been on "Why we should get the entire student body matching jerseys," and "Why does the bell tower play christmas music in February," or "Don't discriminate against people with mustaches." I mean, it seems that the editorial section of the newspaper is being used as a way to get a few laughs, instead of writing about something that really matters.

If only there was some way to separate the opinions of a lowly staff writer from the opinions of the Church. Then, maybe something I write would actually have an impact.

Martin Luther King Jr.

2006-02-21T11:55:00.000-10:00

Martin Luther King Jr. is perhaps one of the most celebrated Americans in history. King is the icon of the Civil Rights movement. Children all over the country can quote the beginning of the famous “I Have a Dream” speech and he even has a holiday in honor of his birthday. At this time, the only other person to have a U.S. national holiday on their birthday is Christ. So, the question I have is, why does King deserve this great honor?

King received a bachelor’s degree from Morehouse College in 1948 and a doctorate from Boston University in 1955. Records indicate that King had been plagiarizing throughout his undergraduate and graduate school years. The first book that King wrote, “Stride Toward Freedom,” --was plagiarized from numerous sources, all unattributed, according to documentation recently assembled by Keith D. Miller, Ira G. Zepp, Jr., and David J. Garrow. In fact, King’s doctoral dissertation itself was plagiarized from several different sources. According to “The Martin Luther King Papers,” in King's dissertation “only 49 percent of sentences in the section on Tillich contain five or more words that were King's own…”

“The Martin Luther King Papers” also acknowledges that many of King’s works were plagiarized from many sources. King Papers stated of King's writings at both Boston University and Crozer Theological Seminary: “Judged retroactively by the standards of academic scholarship, [his writings] are tragically flawed by numerous instances of plagiarism… Appropriated passages are particularly evident in his writings in his major field of graduate study, systematic theology.”

And yet, Boston University didn’t see fit to revoke the degree. In today’s universities, that sort of plagiarism would be grounds for expulsion. In fact, the University of British Columbia now uses King’s work as examples of near-to-complete plagiarism in their brochures to students.

King has also been reported to have used money from the foundation Southern Christian Leadership Conference to buy prostitutes. According to martinlutherking.org, the man most responsible for the FBI's probe of King was Assistant Director William C. Sullivan. Sullivan describes himself as a liberal and initially said, “I was one hundred percent for King...because I saw him as an effective and badly needed leader for the Black people in their desire for civil rights.” According to Sullivan, King often misappropriated or embezzled funds for the “civil rights movement” that were in fact used to carry on drunken sex parties that sometimes lasted for several days.

Unfortunately, this information is locked up by the FBI and is not allowed to be available to the public until 2027.

So, why has Martin Luther King Jr. been immortalized and shown as a great leader for the Civil Rights movement? It seems strange to me that a man who cheated on his papers, and even plagiarized his “I Have a Dream” speech would be held above the founding fathers and have his own holiday.

The solution is to really see King for who he is. Yes, great things were done during his time for the Civil Rights Movement. But, there were many other leaders that were dedicated to the cause. People like Booker T. Washington, George Washington Carver, Rosa Parks, Frederick Douglas, Ruby Bridges, Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth.